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I so, so, so miss New York City and all the fantastic liberals I knew there.

Iapos;m back in conservative VA and pulling my hair out. Itapos;s so stifling here.

Folks at work were talking about the rumors about Will Smith and his wife having an open marriage - and then saying that itapos;s disgusting and immoral and showcasing the decay or morality.

I fail to see how an open marriage is a failing. Itapos;s not something I would do, but, as I said to my co-workers, I just canapos;t get worked up about what goes out behind someoneapos;s bedroom door. I said that I didnapos;t think anyone had the right to make assumptions about someone elseapos;s marriage, nor did they have the right to assume that they knew what was right and wrong about someone elseapos;s marriage.

And of course I got head shaking.

NEW YORK, I LOVE YOU.
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Friday night my brother and I went to Charlottesville to see Elton John in concert. It was a lot of fun. (Now that I see him in person, EJ is kind of a pudgy little guy. Heapos;s not so young anymore, either, but he still seems to be having fun in concert.)

I like spending time with my brother but I also envy how easily he gets along with people. When we were eating dinner he started a conversation with our waitress by complementing her hair color. I could never do that.

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I�never want to know, because�expectations spoil the journey.
Mine as well as others.

Would you cut me if Iapos;m not careful? If I slip my fingers casually down�your other side with blades rooted in societal and� parental pressures?
Will I see blood on my palms and in my heart?

Perhaps I have I nailed myself�atop of�you where you must strain to breathe. But to know the full extent of you, it is what Iapos;ll do.


�

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How come Every. Single. Time. I feel like things are finally going well and I�have my shit together, something has to come along to knock the wind out of my sails?�

Itapos;s like as soon as I feel confident, prepared, driven, and content, something just has to happen to totally stress me out and upset me.
�
Is it so much to ask for things to just run smoothly for a little while?� Iapos;m not asking for extraordinary blessings, world peace, millions of dollars...I just donapos;t want any surprises for a while.� I just want to know that, as long as I take care of my business, nothingapos;s gonna come along and yank the rug out from under me.� At least just for a little while.
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There are honestly only a handful of people i give a shit about in this town now
everyone else can go fuck themselves with their stupid immaturity
iapos;m so tired of people acting so fake to basically everyone.
iapos;m tired of people falling into the scene
you hardly come across people who are just plain themselves anymore
iapos;m done taking everyoneapos;s shit. Itapos;s time i play the part of the cold heartless bitch for once

this is my turning point.
this is the point where i donapos;t give a fuck who you are, you act like a douche to me and you will instanly fucking regret it.

good thing i donapos;t work in customer service anymore.

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